Oaks Park, Oaks Park, Oaks Park you have my H.E.A.R.T... 
We boondocked in burnside again, I love staying here... the sun shines through the blossom trees and drains the colour out of the houses. Every block has a green eyed cat hanging around and people leave their windows open so squirrels can get stuff to eat from the porch. The birds wake you up in the morning and everyone is awesome, it's the polar opposite of where I live. We drove into town to post some letters and postcards then we drove to Keanas Candyland again to try and find the roller-rink, we bought some sweets and the layyydeee told us how to get to Oaks Park. She said we would drive past a little white church and we did, it didn't even look real. Model church. We got down to Oaks and drove through an awesome town called Sellwood, we spotted a pub that had English fish + chips! There were loads of cool bars and a movie theatre, plus Oaks Park which is the most awesome. We drove past a sparkling green lake lined with wooden lake houses and white blossom. Oaks funfair wasn't open so it was totally creepy and abandoned, but not as much as Thrill Ville U.S.A, which was pretty much Royston Vasey style! We parked outside the roller-rink and when we went inside I nearly died. We had been super excited all day and the rink itself made me pee my pants.... it was totally 1950's amazing, all wood and an organ in the middle of the ceiling... I think they play it at night. The boots were awesome and the music was mostly 1970's and 1980's which was the best ever. I fell over to Cyndi Lauper and Seleena fell on her bum! I totally cut my knees open, ripped my skirt and tights and couldn't get back up! It was the only time I fell though... didn't stop skating for hours because I love it, more than anything ever. I wanted to skate forever, skate and dance myself to death. Seleena and Alison said I should join rollergirls and I really badly want too....skating and beating, YES! I'm not going to wear shorts though, no-one wants to see these stompers. Alison skated around and I pretended to hunt her down but then we just bust some moves and did some super fast skating. This cute as hell little girl kept telling us we were really good skaters then she said we were all pretty! She was awesome... two for you little girl! She had round glasses, floral leggings and kept hiding from hiding from her dad, super cute. I was so sad when our time was up but we went outside and spoke to the rollergirls trainer, I was showing off my bust up knees. 
We drove into Sellwood and went into the pub for chips and onion rings, it was a local pub but everyone was totally friendly and this red haired hippy let us use her phone to call Charlie and Rachael but Charlie is such a stoner and tried telling us to go to this house party... when he wasn't even going to be there! He is just too stoned and looks like seed of chucky! We spoke to the red head for a while then I went outside to where she was stood with her friends smoking, her bearded friend was so stoned his eyes were non-exsistent and he kept trying to tell me places to visit in California but he was pretty much just mumbling and I wanted to laugh at his face so badly. They were all awesome though and we parked outside the red heads green wooden house. We decided to go and see if Paige and Buggy were hanging out at the gallery so we drove back to burnside and I nearly drove right outside the gallery but they were all sat there so I sped off down another street and we couldn't stop laughing. When we were about to go round the corner non of us wanted to walk round first and we were talking about what we were going to say... they must have heard us because when we went round the corner Paige shouted HEY ENGLAND! before we even got around the corner, big laugh. Buggy the super good looking guy was there, and this young girl that we didn't like, a skater called Brandon, another girl with a squeaky voice called Natalie and a faux gangsta/wigga called Danny. We got some Olympia beers and hung out for a bit, Danny was trying to show off talking about how he loves Portland lesbians... I said he got over-excited about it and everyone laughed but they mostly didn't get our dry humour. Danny started showing off again saying he hung over the freeway by his LEG, I did a little laugh on the inside because he was totally lying. Brandon didn't talk much and the teen girl was dead naive and one of those 'Too punk for pop music' fuckers. We realised that Buggy was dating Natalie which grossed us out at first but we totally loved her by the end of the night.
I thought the party was outside the shop drinking beer but Paige obvs didn't want us having a shit last night in Portland so they said we were all going to Crush gay bar. We went to get Bette so we could meet them there, anyway we were sat in the RV when they walked past... Alison beeped at them and did a big wave, me and Seleena were in hysterics because they would have seen our big rented Cruise America sell-out-a-home, it was way funny. I love it when Alison gets over-excited, me and Seleena almost scream laughed. We went to Crush and met up with them, it was a pretty cool bar full of ultra-gays who were all ace, they all had the same haircut though. Bogus. Me, Seleena and Alison tried having some banter with Buggy but he didn't understand ANYTHING we were saying. He had a food conversation with Seleena and Alison but he was on a totally different page, we asked if he understood us and he clearly didn't. He didn't understand me when I tried joking about getting him pink lemonade instead of beer, he kept being serious about how he dosen't want 'juice'... he wants BEER! Then he said 'it's plaid man' about the shop, I don't think theres too much in his head but hes hot to trot and good to look at so who cares. I was talking to Paige and Natalie, they were telling me how the younger girl from before is going out with their friend and she flew in from Virginia to meet him IRL because they met on myspace! They said shes a dick and her face is haggard, they totaly hated on her! She did look like a teen punk gremlin though. There was a shit piece of art near our table with lollies hid inside it, that was the good part. Buggy kept messing with it and we both nearly pulled it off the wall. I realised Natalie was tons of fun and she was telling me about Mexico because her mum and dad live 20 minutes from the border in San Diego. Seleena and Alison got up to dance to Peaches and Paige was totally confused as to why they got up to dance, she said 'thats SO northern England' and I realised no-one else was dancing....which was insane! So I got up (I was kinda pulled up by Natalie, she said she would hold my bag if I danced but then it was too heavy for her!). Me, Natalie, Seleena, Alison and Paige all started dancing to premium 1980's tracks... and when I say dancing I mean dancing. We were doing really silly dances but everyone thought we were serious... fools. We danced to every song and tons of people joined in, no-one would have danced if it wasn't for us! Natalie was going crazy and we went crazy with her, she kept slipping into Axl Rose moves and grinding proper style. I don't think Paige she had danced properly for ages so she just went nuts, it was awesome.... everyone was dancing to Billy Idol and Cyndi Lauper. The boys came and danced too, Danny was way impressed with Seleena and Alisons 1990's moves and he was WAY into Alison. He was nice but a total FAUX-G! The DJ started playing r+b/rap/hip-hop and everyone went loco, we were full on grinding/body-poppin'/robot/break etc, throwing caution to the wind yo! Buggy and Brandon were dancing a bit and I noticed Brandon had hardly put his skateboard down all night, Buggy was gerard wasted! Everyone vanished for a bit then Brandon was on his own with us but he didn't talk, I thought he might be freaked out by us but then he came up to me for a talk when he saw me filming Seleena and Alison. He went and got Paige and then some more hip-hop came on... the next thing I know I was dancing with Brandon, awesome! My heart beat fast, everyone was dancing... happiness. I couldn't belive I was grinding proper with a PORTLAND SKATER in a GAY CLUB to HIP HOP! Emily would be so proud. 
Me and Brandon went into the toilets and tagged the wall, he did his actual tag and I just wrote Motley Crue. He thought I was taking the piss but I showed him I wasn't by holding out my left wrist with my 'Motley Crue' tattoo on, he was all 'are you fucking kidding me!?' ...he was totally excited that we both loved Motley Crue, he kissed my tattoo... and me. Two for you Motley Crue! *******EDITED FOR BLOG! EXPLICIT SECTION!********...And then I told him we got started on at burnside and he said they are all dicks there anyway and if your not from Portland they will rip you to shreads. Brandon just skates the streets, because he is DREAMY. He said if I was in Portland longer we could have jumped the freight train, which would have been the most awesome thing ever... but we are leaving tomorrow which SUCKS. We talked loads about music and Mad Max...I told him I went to see Robocop. He was amazing. We said bye to everyone and I don't want to leave now but on with the show, sigh. Goodbye Portland! 
We boondocked in burnside again, I love staying here... the sun shines through the blossom trees and drains the colour out of the houses. Every block has a green eyed cat hanging around and people leave their windows open so squirrels can get stuff to eat from the porch. The birds wake you up in the morning and everyone is awesome, it's the polar opposite of where I live. We drove into town to post some letters and postcards then we drove to Keanas Candyland again to try and find the roller-rink, we bought some sweets and the layyydeee told us how to get to Oaks Park. She said we would drive past a little white church and we did, it didn't even look real. Model church. We got down to Oaks and drove through an awesome town called Sellwood, we spotted a pub that had English fish + chips! There were loads of cool bars and a movie theatre, plus Oaks Park which is the most awesome. We drove past a sparkling green lake lined with wooden lake houses and white blossom. Oaks funfair wasn't open so it was totally creepy and abandoned, but not as much as Thrill Ville U.S.A, which was pretty much Royston Vasey style! We parked outside the roller-rink and when we went inside I nearly died. We had been super excited all day and the rink itself made me pee my pants.... it was totally 1950's amazing, all wood and an organ in the middle of the ceiling... I think they play it at night. The boots were awesome and the music was mostly 1970's and 1980's which was the best ever. I fell over to Cyndi Lauper and Seleena fell on her bum! I totally cut my knees open, ripped my skirt and tights and couldn't get back up! It was the only time I fell though... didn't stop skating for hours because I love it, more than anything ever. I wanted to skate forever, skate and dance myself to death. Seleena and Alison said I should join rollergirls and I really badly want too....skating and beating, YES! I'm not going to wear shorts though, no-one wants to see these stompers. Alison skated around and I pretended to hunt her down but then we just bust some moves and did some super fast skating. This cute as hell little girl kept telling us we were really good skaters then she said we were all pretty! She was awesome... two for you little girl! She had round glasses, floral leggings and kept hiding from hiding from her dad, super cute. I was so sad when our time was up but we went outside and spoke to the rollergirls trainer, I was showing off my bust up knees. We drove into Sellwood and went into the pub for chips and onion rings, it was a local pub but everyone was totally friendly and this red haired hippy let us use her phone to call Charlie and Rachael but Charlie is such a stoner and tried telling us to go to this house party... when he wasn't even going to be there! He is just too stoned and looks like seed of chucky! We spoke to the red head for a while then I went outside to where she was stood with her friends smoking, her bearded friend was so stoned his eyes were non-exsistent and he kept trying to tell me places to visit in California but he was pretty much just mumbling and I wanted to laugh at his face so badly. They were all awesome though and we parked outside the red heads green wooden house. We decided to go and see if Paige and Buggy were hanging out at the gallery so we drove back to burnside and I nearly drove right outside the gallery but they were all sat there so I sped off down another street and we couldn't stop laughing. When we were about to go round the corner non of us wanted to walk round first and we were talking about what we were going to say... they must have heard us because when we went round the corner Paige shouted HEY ENGLAND! before we even got around the corner, big laugh. Buggy the super good looking guy was there, and this young girl that we didn't like, a skater called Brandon, another girl with a squeaky voice called Natalie and a faux gangsta/wigga called Danny. We got some Olympia beers and hung out for a bit, Danny was trying to show off talking about how he loves Portland lesbians... I said he got over-excited about it and everyone laughed but they mostly didn't get our dry humour. Danny started showing off again saying he hung over the freeway by his LEG, I did a little laugh on the inside because he was totally lying. Brandon didn't talk much and the teen girl was dead naive and one of those 'Too punk for pop music' fuckers. We realised that Buggy was dating Natalie which grossed us out at first but we totally loved her by the end of the night. I thought the party was outside the shop drinking beer but Paige obvs didn't want us having a shit last night in Portland so they said we were all going to Crush gay bar. We went to get Bette so we could meet them there, anyway we were sat in the RV when they walked past... Alison beeped at them and did a big wave, me and Seleena were in hysterics because they would have seen our big rented Cruise America sell-out-a-home, it was way funny. I love it when Alison gets over-excited, me and Seleena almost scream laughed. We went to Crush and met up with them, it was a pretty cool bar full of ultra-gays who were all ace, they all had the same haircut though. Bogus. Me, Seleena and Alison tried having some banter with Buggy but he didn't understand ANYTHING we were saying. He had a food conversation with Seleena and Alison but he was on a totally different page, we asked if he understood us and he clearly didn't. He didn't understand me when I tried joking about getting him pink lemonade instead of beer, he kept being serious about how he dosen't want 'juice'... he wants BEER! Then he said 'it's plaid man' about the shop, I don't think theres too much in his head but hes hot to trot and good to look at so who cares. I was talking to Paige and Natalie, they were telling me how the younger girl from before is going out with their friend and she flew in from Virginia to meet him IRL because they met on myspace! They said shes a dick and her face is haggard, they totaly hated on her! She did look like a teen punk gremlin though. There was a shit piece of art near our table with lollies hid inside it, that was the good part. Buggy kept messing with it and we both nearly pulled it off the wall. I realised Natalie was tons of fun and she was telling me about Mexico because her mum and dad live 20 minutes from the border in San Diego. Seleena and Alison got up to dance to Peaches and Paige was totally confused as to why they got up to dance, she said 'thats SO northern England' and I realised no-one else was dancing....which was insane! So I got up (I was kinda pulled up by Natalie, she said she would hold my bag if I danced but then it was too heavy for her!). Me, Natalie, Seleena, Alison and Paige all started dancing to premium 1980's tracks... and when I say dancing I mean dancing. We were doing really silly dances but everyone thought we were serious... fools. We danced to every song and tons of people joined in, no-one would have danced if it wasn't for us! Natalie was going crazy and we went crazy with her, she kept slipping into Axl Rose moves and grinding proper style. I don't think Paige she had danced properly for ages so she just went nuts, it was awesome.... everyone was dancing to Billy Idol and Cyndi Lauper. The boys came and danced too, Danny was way impressed with Seleena and Alisons 1990's moves and he was WAY into Alison. He was nice but a total FAUX-G! The DJ started playing r+b/rap/hip-hop and everyone went loco, we were full on grinding/body-poppin'/robot/break etc, throwing caution to the wind yo! Buggy and Brandon were dancing a bit and I noticed Brandon had hardly put his skateboard down all night, Buggy was gerard wasted! Everyone vanished for a bit then Brandon was on his own with us but he didn't talk, I thought he might be freaked out by us but then he came up to me for a talk when he saw me filming Seleena and Alison. He went and got Paige and then some more hip-hop came on... the next thing I know I was dancing with Brandon, awesome! My heart beat fast, everyone was dancing... happiness. I couldn't belive I was grinding proper with a PORTLAND SKATER in a GAY CLUB to HIP HOP! Emily would be so proud. Me and Brandon went into the toilets and tagged the wall, he did his actual tag and I just wrote Motley Crue. He thought I was taking the piss but I showed him I wasn't by holding out my left wrist with my 'Motley Crue' tattoo on, he was all 'are you fucking kidding me!?' ...he was totally excited that we both loved Motley Crue, he kissed my tattoo... and me. Two for you Motley Crue! *******EDITED FOR BLOG! EXPLICIT SECTION!********...And then I told him we got started on at burnside and he said they are all dicks there anyway and if your not from Portland they will rip you to shreads. Brandon just skates the streets, because he is DREAMY. He said if I was in Portland longer we could have jumped the freight train, which would have been the most awesome thing ever... but we are leaving tomorrow which SUCKS. We talked loads about music and Mad Max...I told him I went to see Robocop. He was amazing. We said bye to everyone and I don't want to leave now but on with the show, sigh. Goodbye Portland! 
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